Sheep-shagging. Is it healthy or not?

Paddy Ashdown, ex-leader of the Liberal Party and the only person  in the House of Commons who has ever been trained to kill, so he jokingly says of his pre-political days as a Captain in the Royal Marines; as Margaret Thatcher trained herself.  Paddy prised the parliamentary seat of Yeovil from Tory hands in 1983, a seat they had held since the constituency was formed in 1918.  In 1992 he was proud enough to regale us with the details of an affair he had with his secretary, Tricia Howard,  in1986.

So he would have been more than pleased with the news that his successor in the seat, Mr. David Laws, started an affair in 2001 that is still thriving to-day.  Parliamentary lobbyist Mr. James Lundie is the happy recipient of Mr. Laws’s amours and he also happens to be Mr. Laws’s landlord and Mr. Laws has been claiming up to £12,000 per year expenses for sharing the joys of Mr. Lundie’s sheets.  Now, it is alright giving your landlord one on a Friday night after a few pints, but to claim he is not your partner or spouse after nine years of jiggery pokery is rimming it a little, even if they say they have different bank accounts and social circles.  You see when you have a spouse or partner you cannot claim the payment of rent to that person as a parliamentary expense.  If you are lucky, you might get away with the odd bunch of red roses but not £12,000 per year.

Mr. Laws, for those who do not know, was highly thought of in the Liberal Party, despite his proclivities which seem highly prized in political circles, so come coalition with the Tories after the recent General Election, David (Laws) that is, was made the Chief Secretary to the Treasury and was given the task of immediately finding £6 billion in cuts in public spending.  He has already drawn up a list of new rules limiting the pay and expenses of hundreds and thousands of civil servants.  He has been a very busy man.  So busy that straight away after being found out by the Daily Telegraph’s intreprid reporters, he offered to set the ball rolling towards the £6 billion target by giving back £40,000 of his hard and pleasurably earned expenses.

Mr. Laws does not think he has broken any rules.  He does not think, by forgetting to tell the parliamentary stewards that Mr. Shagnasty Lundie was his lover and partner and spouse as well as his landlord,  he has done anything wrong.  Well what is he doing as Chief Secretary to the Treasury then.

A friend, in mitigation, has said that Mr. Laws is a man of great integrity, it has not been about profit but privacy.  Tell that to the poor buggers who every week get thrown into the slammer for stealing a loaf of bread.  What a great defence for any thief  “Sorry me lud, but this bird I was shagging wanted a few quid to buy some chips, I did not have it, so I stole a fiver out of the till, I did it first of all for privacy because I had no cash and secondly so I could have another go at her tonight”  “That is okay my private friend and man of great integrity.  Run along and do not do it again, this week at least” says the judge.

What is it about this British establishment that appears to allow them to do what they like when they like and lets them think that it does not matter.  Just keep the people down and treat them like sheep, for it could be said that sheep-shagging is not a crime, especially if done in private and that is what Mr Laws has been doing for years.  He has shagged us to the tune of £12,000 per year for the last  eight years.

Surely Mr. David Cameron you will have to use your muscle and get shut, we cannot have these Mandelson types clogging up the avenues along which you are giving power to the people.

1 Responses to Sheep-shagging. Is it healthy or not?

  1. Michael McCollum says:

    Yeah, Thanks for making my morning a little bit better with this great article!! 😀

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