Paul Malpas

After reading my blog yesterday, David Laws, once Chief Secretary to the Treasury, resigned immediately.  But like a hen with its head cut off running round the farmyard, David Laws is still sheep-shagging, he is still shagging us, the people, the flock, with unbelievable spin coming out of every coalition members voice box.

I have just been listening to Vince Cable, a politician I admired up until this morning, talking in the aftermath of the only thing that David Laws ever did right in his life.  Sky News asked him if he thought David Laws had to resign.  Our Vince, with a sideways look at someone off camera, presumably holding a Kaleshnikov said “No he didn’t, he did not do this for personal gain, he did it to retain his privacy.  It was a mistake and David knows it but he has done nothing wrong”.

Now if fiddling many thousands of pounds out of the public purse, a purse David was there to protect, is not wrong, let us all go and rob a bank or a post office.  I do not get this argument at all.  I have looked at his problem from all angles and I suppose he did have a problem packing good solid muck up his partner, James Lundie’s anal passage, which was always prone to leakage because his sphincter had been severely damaged by years of unnecessary activity, but how do the politicians expect us to believe that he did it to retain his privacy.  He did not have to claim the money in the first place, but as he did claim it, he could have given it back, saying he was well enough off not to need it.  To give it back when he was caught bang to rights means he was doing it for personal gain.  Greed had taken over.

The politicians still think we are sheep and they are still shagging us with lies and hypocrisy.  Cable went on to say “the people out there will understand the decency of the man and know that he did not do it for personal gain”.  Well if Vince Cable can come out with this clap-trap, just like Nick Clegg did last night, then I realize that this brave new world that Cameron promised us last week, is indeed the same old, same old.

Will someone out there please tell these political pricks, that we are not mindless morons who unbelievably use our phalli for what god made them for and not for shagging young boys and Downs Syndrome kids, but we are intelligent people who will hopefully at some stage bite back.   We can tell right from wrong.

Lastly I would like to apologise to my readers for the strong language used in this posting but I have found that politicians only respond, like the poor colonials of years ago, with something stiff and glistening up their khybers.

Paddy Ashdown, ex-leader of the Liberal Party and the only person  in the House of Commons who has ever been trained to kill, so he jokingly says of his pre-political days as a Captain in the Royal Marines; as Margaret Thatcher trained herself.  Paddy prised the parliamentary seat of Yeovil from Tory hands in 1983, a seat they had held since the constituency was formed in 1918.  In 1992 he was proud enough to regale us with the details of an affair he had with his secretary, Tricia Howard,  in1986.

So he would have been more than pleased with the news that his successor in the seat, Mr. David Laws, started an affair in 2001 that is still thriving to-day.  Parliamentary lobbyist Mr. James Lundie is the happy recipient of Mr. Laws’s amours and he also happens to be Mr. Laws’s landlord and Mr. Laws has been claiming up to £12,000 per year expenses for sharing the joys of Mr. Lundie’s sheets.  Now, it is alright giving your landlord one on a Friday night after a few pints, but to claim he is not your partner or spouse after nine years of jiggery pokery is rimming it a little, even if they say they have different bank accounts and social circles.  You see when you have a spouse or partner you cannot claim the payment of rent to that person as a parliamentary expense.  If you are lucky, you might get away with the odd bunch of red roses but not £12,000 per year.

Mr. Laws, for those who do not know, was highly thought of in the Liberal Party, despite his proclivities which seem highly prized in political circles, so come coalition with the Tories after the recent General Election, David (Laws) that is, was made the Chief Secretary to the Treasury and was given the task of immediately finding £6 billion in cuts in public spending.  He has already drawn up a list of new rules limiting the pay and expenses of hundreds and thousands of civil servants.  He has been a very busy man.  So busy that straight away after being found out by the Daily Telegraph’s intreprid reporters, he offered to set the ball rolling towards the £6 billion target by giving back £40,000 of his hard and pleasurably earned expenses.

Mr. Laws does not think he has broken any rules.  He does not think, by forgetting to tell the parliamentary stewards that Mr. Shagnasty Lundie was his lover and partner and spouse as well as his landlord,  he has done anything wrong.  Well what is he doing as Chief Secretary to the Treasury then.

A friend, in mitigation, has said that Mr. Laws is a man of great integrity, it has not been about profit but privacy.  Tell that to the poor buggers who every week get thrown into the slammer for stealing a loaf of bread.  What a great defence for any thief  “Sorry me lud, but this bird I was shagging wanted a few quid to buy some chips, I did not have it, so I stole a fiver out of the till, I did it first of all for privacy because I had no cash and secondly so I could have another go at her tonight”  “That is okay my private friend and man of great integrity.  Run along and do not do it again, this week at least” says the judge.

What is it about this British establishment that appears to allow them to do what they like when they like and lets them think that it does not matter.  Just keep the people down and treat them like sheep, for it could be said that sheep-shagging is not a crime, especially if done in private and that is what Mr Laws has been doing for years.  He has shagged us to the tune of £12,000 per year for the last  eight years.

Surely Mr. David Cameron you will have to use your muscle and get shut, we cannot have these Mandelson types clogging up the avenues along which you are giving power to the people.